You are a great warrior, who fought many battles and has became a general and the minister of war of your kingdom. You are always at the battlefront, until the king dies. The next king, his firstborn son, stops the war campaigns and starts diplomacy campaigns. You begin to go to parties and at one of these, you do a huge mistake.
I'm not an English native speaker, so, I'm sorry for any error. The game is in a very early alpha development status, so, there's almost no content at all.
Still early, and not much happens before the story ends. For a ESL author, though, it's pretty good. Some misspellings, wrong words (like "subestimate" instead of underestimate), and awkward phrases, yes, but it's perfectly comprehendable. So far there's only two changes, which is fine for an incomplete work. The problem is, one isn't given much detail and the other is given none (it happens while you're unconscious). Given that the reason people come here for games is to enjoy a good or interesting transformation, this seems a poor choice.
Looking forward to seeing more of the story branches filled out. And I really hope those transformations (and future changes) get rewritten and improved.
I suggest working with a native English speaker and rework all the paragraphs and the formating. You can focus on the game direction, mechanism, programming and all that.
I can see that you have spent time on it and I hate to see it going down the sink.
