You are Testicles: an idle TG game

Author: lalalobrite
Version: 1.0.0
Last Updated: 2018-02-14 17:49:29

Review by MugTreecko
Version reviewed: 1.0.0 on 2020-04-30 11:28:32

First of all, if you only see a blank white page, start with:
(I suspect the automatic redirection in Chrome isn't supported in FF / IE)

This is a game about a man with balls (you). Maybe he's into dudes, maybe he's bi, but either way it doesn't matter because you, his balls, have a mission: Ensure procreation by any and every means neccessary at whatever cost. Don't take this game too seriously.

The execution is a bit awkward and forced, but it's nice to see an idle TF game be explored at least. Dynamic Avatar Drawer will never be the glitziest thing, but it does suit the incriemental nature of the game. For better or worse the code base has been left to gather dust, but being on github it's at least able to be "forked" if some intrepid soul wants to make their own changes.

My chief complaint is that it's possible to complete the game with only unlocking 1st stage M/F TFs, which really bothered me so I went and found the code for the skill tree and translated it to english.

Here's how to unlock perks (and enable them to be bought):
"Getting Started:"
Auto Sperm Production: Have 24ug of sperm stored.
Auto Testosterone (T) Production: Wait for the body to have 1000ug of protein avaliable.
Unlock Arousal: Have 99ug of sperm stored.
Unlock Reproduction Imperitive (ri): Have your arousal meter reset. (hon hon)
Sieze Mental resources: Unlock ri.

"Mind over Matter:"
Enable Dynamic Avatar Drawer: Reach 25 cognition.
Auto Arousal production: Have 50 cognition
Enable Nutrient Imperitive: Reach 1 ri.
Reduce cost for salvaging: Salvage nutrients 5 times.

"Makin' gains"
1st stage of Masculine Growth: Get rejected once/
Hints on attraction: Get rejected 3 times.
2nd stage: Get rejected 5 times.
3rd stage: Get rejected 15 times. (Bro...)

"If you want something done right..."
Take matters into the testes' own... uh, balls: Have sex 15 times.
Act on the genius plan your balls came up with: Obtain the above perk.

"...then do it yourself!"
1st stage of your new life: Bring your plan to 99%.
2nd stage: Have sex 5 times
3rd stage: Have sex 15 times

"The End."
Win the game: Personally confirm procreation.

Review by HDGoat
Version reviewed: 1.0.0 on 2019-03-07 06:21:38

The whole clicking get kind problematic with game.


No skip tutorial, No story, no means to skip sequences.

Game does go hard forced Female Kind wish it didn't, you can't really procreate, seems you have do most that part procreation, you can get attraction male to female only 42 only then I think that limit. There no beyond that sphere or game would crash I am supposing here.

It has autosave function so if you had means save you can save from previous manual save to prevent what you did. There is restart..but if there means to figure that out wow...


Some extra tips for anyone interested:

I think if another handsy person was get was play around they have modifiy that option make java and what used to go beyond 42 and make 100 plus and if this was something dialect of programmer I think 100 plus minus reaction if mate was pregnant or not. If she got sexual disease she report avatar to fictional police or beat up avatar if he failed to care for her.

Other I noted that if someone does take this breadcrumb they should note author first build was noted, but they made or remastered so would be better game, Not on firefox but on java so it could be easier accessible. But it seems the author doesn't care or give up for free grabs.

if someone does take torch they should note intro of this game should change offer means to enter as either, or alien like previous option when game first started.

Alien would mean as you first began game in 1.0.0 and Option new would be male or female giving access no need to fiddle with equipment and just need adjust attraction and procreation?

I see that easier to deal with but this also means that person has come up with idea of choosing add inventory, events, and NPCs.

More less town. Not saying he or she could add story to it make more interesting and animation art would been nice.


Review by dalmedya
Version reviewed: 1.0.0 on 2018-07-29 08:36:03

Not worth touching if you're using Firefox. Buggy and abandoned.

Review by exprmntle
Version reviewed: 1.0.0 on 2018-02-20 19:22:54

This game is a lot of fun but it would be even MORE fun if it had a save function!  I can't get the current arrangement to work for saving a game.  It may be operator error.

Review by vn0l
Version reviewed: 1.0.0 on 2018-02-19 14:31:05

Surprisingly fun! I got stuck twice w/o no apparent way to continue to the next stage, but eventually figured it out.

I am not sure how, but I definetly want to see this game expanded :)

Review by Ablafa
Version reviewed: 1.0.0 on 2018-02-19 13:42:23

This is really good but please could you make another version where instead of testicles you are a paperclip? Thanks

Review by darkmavid90
Version reviewed: 1.0.0 on 2018-02-18 09:38:25

This game was exponentially more fun than I thought it would be. The amount of time and research that went into this really shows. The only real complaint I have is that it is difficult to balance everything and at times I would break the game with no way to reduce certain numbers. But otherwise a wonderful game and i would love to see updates and tweaks in the future. 

Review by KevinAhro
Version reviewed: 1.0.0 on 2018-02-17 12:42:05

For some reason im not getting a charactor for some reason.

Review by RedGhost
Version reviewed: 1.0.0 on 2018-02-17 11:37:51


Just a quick review. It is a good stat-grind game to kill some time with and the images presented are perfectly acceptable for what the game is. The coding is particularly solid, but the save point system could use a bit more fine work as sometimes returning to a save point will take you back a little on your progress. Nothing major though that can't be fixed with 10 minutes or more of game time.

The only real complaint I have with the game is that the "hyper-femininity" end result seems relatively normal (6.5" leggy "amazon").

Recommended for a distraction game.

Review by Zinker
Version reviewed: 1.0.0 on 2018-02-15 22:42:16

Finally a game that allows me to exercise my left hand while exercising my right.

Arousal-button clicking simmulator.
10 out of 10. Will click buttons again!

Review by Elishia
Version reviewed: 1.0.0 on 2018-02-15 16:26:37

Pretty fun game. Once you get a grasp at the mechanics (and balacing stuff) it's good. Awaiting more updates ;P

Review by cjchess
Version reviewed: 1.0.0 on 2018-02-15 14:36:46

It would be nice if the icon for the mates was female. or even if there was an option for being female. maybe that is what you are doing next, but it would be nice. the only real complaint mechanics wise i have so far, is that testosterone is used up way too quickly.

Review by Noknet
Version reviewed: 1.0.0 on 2018-02-15 08:53:02

I don't understand the point of this.  It's like someone made a "game" and forgot to make it fun.

Review by umlaut926
Version reviewed: 1.0.0 on 2018-02-15 07:29:27

Has potential, lowering the requirements for potential sex partners to about 85% would get rid chance for the endless grind to unlock genetic scanning. It's also very hard to change sex partner preference once you get a record going, you could probably add a mechanic into Mind here, maybe make Body do something related to directing arousal to different sexes. Also, the sex designation for sex partners can continuous show Male despite the NPC being Female

Review by blazedummy
Version reviewed: 1.0.0 on 2018-02-14 23:57:00


- Lags out on Firefox once you unlock the body visuals. Works fine on Chrome.

- Estrogen and progesterone feel far to slow to accumulate once you unlock femine changes.

- It wasn't obvious how to shift from persuing women to begin pursuing men. I did it by focusing my attaction on tall females over short females.


Fun game.

Review by lordofmordor
Version reviewed: 1.0.0 on 2018-02-14 20:51:50

Quick note about performance.

Whatever algorith is used to calculate arousal is horribly inefficient. The game only ran smoothly when it was not calculating arousal.

Review by leslatina
Version reviewed: 1.0.0 on 2018-02-14 20:19:08

This is actually a really good idea, needs some tweaking but overall I find it refreshing.

It's not really what I'm looking for on tfg, but I enjoy it, please develop further.

Review by Lexicon
Version reviewed: 1.0.0 on 2018-02-14 19:49:13

I like it!


How does one unlock feminine growth? I'm always getting masculine...

Review by jjars898
Version reviewed: 1.0.0 on 2018-02-14 19:37:32

Unfortunately, due to lag, there's a point of diminishing returns long before you get to a level of mental resources where "procreation can be confirmed".

Also, there's not much sexy content. The vocabulary, tone of writing, and UI are all very clinical. Like any idle game, I suppose you're not supposed to actually PLAY it, so much as leave it running, come back an hour later and feel like you played it second-hand. That mindset certainly isn't helpful as a masturbatory aid. And since the title is "You are Testicles", why else would you expect to play the game?