This is a great slow transformation story/game.
It also has great replay value. Played through several times to figure out all the plots going on.
Could do with some help with proof reading though.
This is slow TFs done right. I appreciate the deepness of the story and the author has coded and written things very well! I encourage them to continue overcoming bugs and tpyos!
Playing through this, navigating the mystery and learning about what - could - have happened after each day was really intriging. It gave me a similiar vibe to 'The Allure of Waton Cove', in that at first you have no idea what's going on or how your choices will shape the overall story. It's also definitely more story than game, but the interactive elements work really well. I want to know what happens next! c:
I wouldn't mind a public walkthrough once the game is finished; there's some decent replayability here and it'd be useful to avoid scenes / paths one has traversed before. Until then, this is one I wouldn't mind returning to every so often as new chapters go public, rather than wait for a more finished version as I do for other pieces here.
Needs a whole crap-ton of proofreading, and I couldn't help but cringe at mention of Russian agents and graves of victims of soviet regime (FYI the people soviet regime victimised the most were it's own, not foreign. And if either USSR or Russia had even half as much influence on the world as PR-hungry politicians keep BS-ing about it'd dominate the globe by now, yet the only place they ever dominate are media's weekly "we hateSSS you" charts... go figure).
But aside from language issues and a couple of instances of reference to political slander this is pretty well written and pretty well structured.
Language - ~6 / 10 - Needs a dedicated proofreader, preferably one with solid English, but, really, ANY dedicated proofreader should be able to help a lot. Surprisingly Readable though. ... somehow
Writing - 9+ / 10 - Characters are interesting, original and believable. And even with all the language faults it still reads well, and the volume of it is particularly on point - not even once have I found a part that's either bloated or lacking proper description.
Plot - 9+ / 10 - Sufficiently original premise. Good amount of author's own variation on top of it. Well set intrigue and the process of uncovering it feels both engaging and rewarding.
Structure 10 (thus far) / 10 - Good choice-based story variability and the process of hunting for alternative story developments isn't needlessly overcomplicated as it's done in most other similarly complex games on this site. There's a lot of variations, alterations, and hidden bits throughout the story and it feels really "alive" because of them, yet you don't feel like you're being pressured into a "clicking ritual" while looking for a specific path.
Mechanics 3? / 10 While the story itself flows well the numerical representation of it feels greatly over-engineered. Your character is defined by a number of parameters, yet instead of feeling like an RPG character sheet they mostly just feel like a "character type". I guess it's good for the writing but trying to look at it as a game can be painful. The game pretty much pressures you into always playing-up your character's "strong suits", whatever those are. And while you can define those near the start, once you've gone past the early stages you're pretty much "stuck in an archetype". This feeds well into a story, making MC consistent, but a gamer in me can't help but wonder why we even HAVE numbers for those stats.
If, for example, you started a character as mister popular you're almost guaranteed to be able to "develop" that popularity further, and if you don't start as one but try to grow into one along the way - you're almost guaranteed to crash and burn. Yet at the same time it doesn't actually FEEL like the character is developing his popularity (kinda like one of those cheap RPGs where a level 3 soldier fighting a level 3 wolf and a level 9 soldier fighting level 9 wolf both feel exactly the same way). So why WOULD we need numbers on those stats when in reality the game just plays off your 3 chosen aspects? They may as well have been binary perks and the game would not lose much from it.
Still, if you don't stare at it too closely it isn't going to bother you. Probably.
Bugs 8 / 10 Let's see... We have many passages you can't "back" out of. We have a few passages that bug when re-loading them. And I found one passage that you can get stuck on ("start small talk" passage on the TF day under some circumstances). But overall I wasn't too bothered by bugs. And hey, this game isn't plagued by any annoying mini-games so even if you get stuck it isn't exactly a pain to re-trace your steps from an old save.
Overfall impression - 9+ / 10 - So long as the author doesn't end up oversimplifying the later parts and the endings, I believe we're looking at a masterpiece. The few flaws it does have are barely relevant, and all that really matters was done well thus far.
My first review of a game here.
This game is quite new in its way of working is built around your choices. Who you are, What do you want... Who are the people around you ....
I am only starting it but I love it; thank you to the writer and all the best for you in your beatifuk project.
It's not really my thing. It's a slow, SLOW, cyoa, and it's hard to even tell if my choices have an effect. It feels less like a transformation story and more like a humiliation story, too.
This is a highly enjoyable read so far - I'm glad that the choices and stats have effects (at least they feel like they do on a first play through), and I certainly like the page at the end summerising what we did and didn't do and/or find out. I'm a big fan of how there is an ending in this version - albeit one with a fair bit that will carry on from it! I hope the author enjoyed making this and continues to enjoy this project!
A fairly impressive start. There's a lot of choices, both as to who the main character is and what they can do, which are interlinked quite well. The scenario is fairly interesting, and I'm interested to see what will be done with it.
It does have a couple of issues, most pressingly the writing. It's clear English is not the writer's first language, and it can get pretty choppy in places. Dialogue between the main character and their best friend is where it's at it's worst, pretty far from natural, at least to me. It's nothing a few editting passes from people more familiar with English can't solve though.
The other issue is a bit more of a niggle, but the bullying as protrayed here goes beyond what is reasonable. The bra thing is pushing it as it is (Although granted I can see it happening). Blatant sexual assault in a public place is a bit beyond that though. It also portrays the jock in a really, really wierd light. I won't complain about that too much though, since it's possible this will be properly fleshed out in the future.
Overall, I'm certainly interested in where this is going, and I'm hoping it will earn that slow TF tag in the way it seems to be setting up.
I decided to try out the game, even though I wasn't really hooked on it from reading the synopsis, but it turned out to be a very different game than I expected, a lot of focus on choice, with a lot of different ways the story can go, I can't wait for the game to be completed, that's how good I think it is already.
Its a fine text game
its like going blind in a storm
This is a really great start. I've played through a couple different versions already, and I suspect I'll wear out the initial bit here before the next update. Totally fun and I want to know more about the world.
This looks very promising!
Of course, being the first release, the game still doesn't have much content.
But it has many of the characteristics of the best HTML games: it doesn't feel grindy, it's clear and easy to read, it has original graphics, no trivial porn images/videos, it looks to be thought to have multiple good storylines instead of paths accessible only by making very precise choices.
So, I'm looking forward to the next updates, keep up! :D
It feels different than other HTML games. I can't say it's great, having played only an into, but I could well imagine myself loving this this game once a few chapters are written based on what's already there. The skill system feels nice so far, although it's more up to the following chapters to see what they can actually do.
Even if I don't download the very next update, I'll definitely be following this.