Bimbo Holdem Poker

Author: Gardamuse
Version: 1.2.2
Last Updated: 2018-01-20 08:00:09

Review by awkwardcultism
Version reviewed: 1.2.2 on 2021-06-28 16:52:44

This game has a lot going for it. Certainly, if you're one of those people who like their TF games to have an emphasis on "game", Bimbo Holdem Poker is an easy recommend.

While the graphics are Kisekae 2, they have a lot of elbow grease put into them. Together with the changing quotes, they help build organic stories that are told as the rounds progress.

The game seperates itself from other "strip poker" style games by the use of its unique IQ betting mechanic that encourages playing lots of hands, which can lead to some interesting strategy because of just how many hands your opponents could have. The three special abilities and the way they interact add a small extra strategic layer to the game by themselves too.

The game is held back by a couple weaknesses. The most obvious is that the default speed is very slow. Thankfully, this can be changed in the options menu. What can't be easily fixed, however, is that the AI is very weak. I doubt an experienced strip poker game player, or even just a decent Texas Hold'em player, would lose to the AI very much. It's way too easy to get paid off and way too easy to read an opponent's hand. If you aren't much of a poker player you might find the game somewhat of a challenge, but otherwise the opponents just feel like total pushovers.

That said, I don't think any of those issues stop the game from being fun, so if the concept of betting your brains on a hand of cards is appealing to you, I really recommend giving it a shot.

Review by Sharl
Version reviewed: 1.2.2 on 2018-07-04 04:29:42

The game is pretty great if you enjoy bimbos and games with actual challenges or mechanics to them, although you do need to be familiar with the rules of poker beforehand; there are no tutorials.

You should not listen to those saying that this game is "literally" unwinnable, as you can most certainly win.

If you can do so before the bugged phase of the game sets in.

Somewhere around round 48 to 55 (this is with blinds increasing every 7 rounds, tweaking this number could effect the onset of the bugged phase), any fully bimbotized players suddenly become part of the game again, are impossible to defeat, and will drag you down in a hurry since there isn't much you can do to a player already in a defeated state.

But if you can win before this point, and this isn't hard to do if you're familiar with the game and strategies for winning, everything is fine. I have a fully unlocked extras section myself and this would not be possible without more than a few wins.

Just be wary of the above mentioned bugged, as it's a game-breaker and something that definitely needs to be fixed at some point. If you look at it as a challenge to win within a limited number of rounds, you there are still plenty of good times to have here.

Review by Cass1212
Version reviewed: 1.2.2 on 2018-07-03 15:37:31

The lack of quality in this game is honestly impressive.

Review by Buridan
Version reviewed: 1.2.2 on 2018-03-19 12:27:35

Pretty good lewd poker game with an interesting mechanic with IQ acting as a secondary resource pool.

But I ran into the same issue as Kara - as I was approaching victory I got stuck in a 'lust-bomb' loop, with the poker round never progressing, leading to a loss. This is a gamebreaking bug in the purest sense. Until this is fixed (which seems unlikely), this game is difficult to recommend.

Review by Observin
Version reviewed: 1.2.2 on 2018-01-24 03:11:48

I really like those slow stage transformation. especially, the ones who is stubbon toward almost the end. some of them are really unique. (I like the newest characters) but the other, I feel like it's a bit boring in transformation. it's still a great game, though.


I would recommnded it, if you like slow transformation and Bimbo girls

If I want to add, it would be the status text, where they talk in current status and it will change after every stage or transformation. 

Review by Kara
Version reviewed: 1.2.1 on 2018-01-10 20:36:33

This has the most obscene rubberbanding imaginable. I'm not talking about the orgasm cascade that occurs when one person has high IQ and the AIs are bimbo'd out, either. I'm talking about the fact that it's literally impossible to win at. While opponents who run out of money and IQ are removed from play normally, when the last opponent falls (or should fall), regardless of your own IQ and money levels, you do not win. All AIs, fully bimboified, suddenly reenter play, endlessly calling and raising, while the Check command does nothing. At this point, that round will never end until the orgasm cascade of dealing with four full bimbos drains you down to the arbitrary threshold where you're declared to have lost.

If that isn't fixed, this cannot be called a game. I did not come back from the brink of defeat against a single opponent who I'd allowed to dominate the board and wipe out the other three just so I could be godmodded into losing by some atrocious bullshit of the highest order.


Edit: Darcwing, it isn't that I wasn't able to defeat all four's that once I did, all the defeated AIs started playing again, raising endlessly despite being broke in both money and brains, making it impossible to Check, and endlessly fondling me until I hit 30 IQ and got a loss prompt. It isn't that I couldn't win, it's that the game pulled took that victory away by making me contend with four 100% bimbos with apparently unlimited money out of nowhere.

Review by Arothe
Version reviewed: 1.2.1 on 2018-01-10 19:38:21

Protip: If you're having a hard time unlocking all the things because you can't seem to win, a simpler way to get there is to make matches 1v1, max out the starting pot, increment amounts, and minimum turns before it raises again. Play *almost* every turn you can. Let the wheel of fate decide who wins. It's about 50%.

Review by DarcWing21
Version reviewed: 1.2.1 on 2018-01-10 07:05:35

Kara, I managed to win one game out of a dozen. Difficult and requires more luck than skill, but I did beat all the bimbos and had 200+ IQ to go with my $40 thousand dollars, so it is doable. 


Other than that, this was a moderately entertaining game. Reminded me of why I hate Texas Hold 'Em as a poker variant.

Review by Hausu
Version reviewed: 1.2.1 on 2018-01-09 18:15:16

Seconding what someone else mentioned below. When you have defeated your final opponent the game makes you lose more or less automatically. Other than that, the art is pretty decent but it's rather shallow and tedious over all. Plus a lot of the "dialogue" seems to be unrelated to what's actually going on. If you wanna look at some tits while playing virtual poker, I guess this will keep you entertained for a bit.

Review by Freewill
Version reviewed: 1.2 on 2018-01-06 20:43:59

The AI is irrational, throws money in too easily too early, as though it doesn't matter if any individual player wins as much as the human player losing.

Review by kithrin
Version reviewed: 1.2 on 2018-01-01 17:37:58


Review by MechZombie
Version reviewed: 1.2 on 2018-01-01 07:14:51

This updated? I'd check again to see which version you put in the Downloa, both your Deviantart and the download for 1.2 list the patch as 1.1.1 and there doesnt seem to be any new content

Review by tempgr
Version reviewed: 1.2 on 2018-01-01 01:36:53

Version 1.2 doesn't seem to want to open in anything other than internet explorer for me.Never mind  stupid security settings. you really need a discution thread though


Review by foxdsx
Version reviewed: 1.1.1 on 2017-06-16 11:03:21

Hi this bugfix ver crash easy when the bankrupted opponents magicaly starts to play again and end in bimbo apocalypse


Review by Chop2005
Version reviewed: 1.1.1 on 2017-06-16 01:06:09

I think the trophy room is broken If beat at least two different people one on one and still didn't get anything in the room.

Review by anubis1970
Version reviewed: 1.1.1 on 2017-06-15 13:34:02

There's a problem with the update.  The hands are the same, the whole cards just rotate. 

Review by fireslug
Version reviewed: 1.1.1 on 2017-06-15 13:18:16

I really like this game, but the poker game in version 1.1.1 is even more messed up than in 1.1.0. In the last version, aces counted as lower than all other cards but was otherwise playable. In version 1.1.1, every player has a flush in hearts on the flop. On every deal. Fix the bugs and the game is excellent.

Review by mlreta
Version reviewed: 1.1.0 on 2017-06-10 16:38:42

Besides the already reported AI issues, I got blue screens on my Win10 machine a couple of times, while playing the online version AND the downloaded one.


In spite that, the game is awesome. I don't like computer card games, but to see those guys turned into bimbo sluts surely is FUN!

Review by kiutbmg
Version reviewed: 1.1.0 on 2017-06-10 10:45:40

from what i can tell,, you engine doesnt atribute the right valueto aces,, they count as 1 and thats it,, lower then the 2 and unableto complete a 10+ straight

Review by beccara
Version reviewed: 1.1.0 on 2017-06-10 04:15:50

Just like said previously.

There is a major mechanical flaw in the game.

Just had a game where by poker rules i would've won. Instead the NPC took the win with lower hand than my own.



Review by Sol
Version reviewed: 1.1.0 on 2017-06-08 04:49:03

While I like this game, it really needs a discussion page where people can report bugs. I myself had a bug where I had an easy straight: 10-J-Q-K-A, and bet a lot only to be beaten by a pair of Queens. If this had a discussion page I could post a screenshot and everything, but instead I'll have to leave it here as a review.

Review by Theacds
Version reviewed: 1.1.0 on 2017-06-08 02:09:06

Easily one of my favorite games on this site. Maybe it's a combination of my preferences to transformation over sex scenes, but seeing a game with focus on mental transformation and seeing a bimbo game that does have a decent focus on IQ loss makes me happy. 

Four stars!

Five stars!

UPDATE: 1.10


Makes me want to get into writing so I can, among other things, create content for this kink!

Look at that alliteration...! Partially due to this game! 

Review by Goldendawn
Version reviewed: 1.1.0 on 2017-06-07 21:48:14

Utter frustrating, totally painful, and out right evil FUN!

I am not a big fan of card games, but this one adds to it the transformation and mental alterations on the game, that make it fun and exciting.

As an additional however, I would hope that as the game goes on and you start to loose your IQ (and the AI do to) it would have impact on other elements of the game. Now doing the right thing, harder to make the right choices, interactions between the groups, even some sexy stuff. There is so much that could be added to the game to make the mental changes (as well as physical) more interactive.

But overall, a great fun game :)

Thank you for making it!!

Review by otherwise-six
Version reviewed: 1.1.0 on 2017-06-07 21:33:30

Pros: I really enjoy this game! It's a simple premise executed fairly well. The visuals are great and the addition of the lust mechanics along with normal poker mechanics make for a really fun game. The TF content is also really well done and has a lot of replayability. 

Cons: Unfortunately, since this newest version released I've been experiencing some... questionable decisions by whatever poker algorithm is calculating things behind the scenes. It seems to be calculating even the basics incorrectly as my pair of Aces lost to a pair of queens... Until the algorithm is fixed it's not really playable as a poker game. It's still kind of fun to just see chaos happen all over the place though. Really hoping this gets fixed because I don't recall previous versions having this issue.

Review by fakelovah
Version reviewed: 1.1.0 on 2017-06-07 19:44:14

Not a review, but don't know where else to contact you: Got a bug where in the 3rd game, the NPCs bet almost all their money before the blind despite none of them having anything in their hole cards. Turns out the community cards were a Full House, Kings over Jacks. I'm assuming the NPCs cheat but that was pretty silly. Screenshots:

Review by Baylith
Version reviewed: 1.0.6 on 2017-04-05 01:47:08

I would like to mention, the computer can target you with lust moves while your on a folded hand, is that intentional? since you can't ever respond in any way to that.

Review by fixsxd
Version reviewed: 1.0.6 on 2017-04-03 07:38:01

Hahaha it's a funny game for sure +1 like

Review by FAFNSucks
Version reviewed: 1.0.5 on 2017-02-19 06:40:09

This game is fantastic. It balances the perfect amount of porny content and gameplay.

More than that, it is all around well made and fun to play. It's basically generic texas hold'em, you can't really screw it up- but it adds an angle of having a "health bar" of sorts in form of your IQ. You attack other players by fondling them, but fondling people also turns you on. You can take a turn to relax and lower your arousal level, but if people are fondling you nonstop there's not really much point. The lower your IQ the stronger your fondling power is along with your "defense" to being turned on. You also passively generate arousal to other players when you're bimbo-ey enough, but be careful- if you hit 30 IQ (or is it 40, I can't remember) you are out of the game.

As you can see, there is a lot of strategy to it. This is impressive considering it's only one mechanic added to an already "perfected" game.

The graphics are great. I see a lot of KiseKae generated stuff and honestly I find 99% of it bad and all the same. Every character in this game however makes "sense" for their stereotype and have gradual enough transformations to make it really hot compared to most sequences done in this generator. Speaking of them, I love the stereotypes in this game- it leads to good variety for each character. I see other people critique it for being too "wacky", but personally I like that you're not just Joe Bob or Marcy Susan and you're either a ninja, a cowboy, a gangster, etc. You can click on your enemies to see their full body portraits so you can easily see them slowly transform throughout the game. All the transformations seem relevant to their characters except for one which I won't spoil but I felt it was kind of out of left field (but I still found it hot so I guess I can't totally complain). There is also good attention to detail- not only can characters degrade into bimbos but they can also become more intelligent versions of their base selves, which is cool to see if somebody is absolutely wiping the floor with you.

I do have some complaints, but in no way do I feel they overshadow the likes I have for this game. The balance needs work, but I'm sure this is something that could be done with time. The game goes really really slow until one person is completely turned into a bimbo, and since their IQ is so low it generates extremely high arousal for everyone else. This makes it so the game after that point is a breakneck speed of somebody winning a pot, getting 200 IQ, losing it all immediately due to mass fondling and arousal generation, then another person wins a pot and gets 200 IQ... etc. I wish the game was a more balanced experience so I can see the slow transformations rather than straight from point A -> B.

The dialogue feels a bit samey, and I think even all the characters say the same lines at certain points of the game. For the most part they have character specific dialogue when they're their base forms and when they are a complete bimbo, but in the middle of this (where most of the game takes place) all the dialogue is the same and it gets repetitive. I'm sure just adding a few lines for each character would easily fix this.

I'm sure it's extremely hard to program good AI for a strategic card game like texas hold'em, but I found their actions a bit.... strange. Due to how the IQ pots work, when it hits it's limit and the next pot will contain IQ, everyone acts bulletproof and raises even if they're dirt poor. They almost always target the person with the most IQ, and hardly target you unless you have the most IQ. If I raised even a little I could get people with amazing hands to fold instantly almost every time.

Overall, this game is great, but it's still a bit rough. That's ok. The developer seems passionate enough and is active on deviantart. I think this is easily one of the best games i've played on this site.


Review by Kahadai
Version reviewed: 1.0.5 on 2017-01-09 19:59:35

Fantastic game! I have had a lot of fun viewing all the different transformations! 10/10

Review by aika
Version reviewed: 1.0.3 on 2016-04-25 14:17:13

Bimbo Holdem Poker appeals to me for two very clear reasons.  Firstly, it has bimbo TF, which I adore, and secondly, it's based on a strategy game, and I will never tire of strategy games.  In BHP, you are against several AI poker players, and you must play standard No Limit Holdem in order to win money, because if you run out of money, you have to buy more by spending IQ.  IQ is also lost through orgasming, which happens through players getting groped by others.  I'll talk more about this later, but the reason I wanted to mention it here is to make it clear that you can also gain IQ and become more refined by winning the IQ lost from everyone's orgasms as a bonus in some pots.  So the game allows all characters, including yourself, to continuously transform into, and away from, a bimbo.  Some characters are male and some are female, but when fully bimbofied they all have turned into female, mega titted topless ubersluts.

Graphics (6/10):  The game maker(s) used the popular Kisekae flash program to create the characters and their variations throughout the transformation sequence.  The characters have been done well, they are all very different and it's not just size that changes, but clothing, pose, facial expression, hair and so on.  The characters have cropped images on the board, but you can click on each player to have their entire image appear in your viewing window on the left.  I have no complaints with the art, but obviously there's always more room for more variations.  Each character must only have 8 or so different images.  And to get the highest points on graphics, a game would need to have its own completely OC drawn art.

Usability (5/10):  Maybe this score is a bit harsh but I feel that there is a lot that can be done here.  Taking some direction from how all the big online poker sites have their interface, I think the buttons and the indicators of how much money is involved could be vastly improved to help keep the user aware of what the state of play is.  With regards to the sex mechanics, I would like it to automatically 'relax' if I don't choose 'grope' or 'striptease', rather than assume I don't want to do anything.  The game doesn't make it obvious enough when IQ is on the line, or when someone is all in, from my point of view.

Gameplay (7/10):  The orgasm mechanic is such a great idea, overall.  The game takes poker and adds an extra layer of strategy over the top.  Do you attack others, or do you just reduce your own arousal?  Do you stay in a hand you're not going to win just so you get extra actions to affect arousal?  Are you so confident that you're going to win the hand and all the IQ at stake, that you throw in some stripteases to further raise the stakes?  The idea is great, but the implementation needs a lot of refinement.  IQ swings are too frequent right now - I think that rather than the trigger being 10 IQ, it should be 10 times the number of players.  Ganging up on the person in the lead is a great rubberbanding mechanic but it's too strong - you win loads of IQ only to just have it stripped away over the next few rounds.  Orgasms should probably be less frequent, but higher damage, in terms of IQ.  There need to be a few more options, to increase the depth of the strategy.  Maybe there is a hidden action with a cooldown or other cost which causes you to make everyone else orgasm if you do before your next go.  Maybe repeated actions against the same target in a row have weaker and weaker impacts until you switch to someone else.  Maybe once you orgasm, you have a refactory period where attacks have much lower impact on you.  Also personally I'd prefer it if some IQ loss from the table was permanent, to prevent the game getting stale and staying with everyone around 120 for ages.  Also the game should actually end at some point earlier than when there's only one man left standing.  Also, as previously mentioned by someone else, the AI needs to raise by larger amounts, to prevent this ridiculous raise re-raise situation that goes for ages.

Overall (6/10): The game is good fun.  Anyone that actually enjoys an interesting strategy challenging while getting their kicks should play it for sure.  This review ended up sounding quite negative, which I apologise for because it really is fun.  There are some really nice touches, like how the names of the characters and their speech lines change depending on IQ level.  But there's so much potential for small improvements to make a massive difference, and that's what I have hopefully made clear here!


Review by bokothe
Version reviewed: 1.0.3 on 2016-01-24 02:05:51

Great game, only issue I have found is that after about 300 IQ the game starts making you the different forms each turn.

8.5 / 10

Review by PlatonicNebula
Version reviewed: 1.0.3 on 2016-01-23 03:20:16

It's good, though the characters' back stories are a bit on the zany side for my tastes.  I'm sure that's to make them look different since the images might look kind of same-y without the wildly different outfits.  The win screen lets you buy IQ points back, implying that it's possible to win as a bimbo, but after multiple attempts where I burned off as many IQ points as possible for the whole table with anywhere from 1 to 4 opponents, I have not been able to make that happen.  Even if my character is on the verge of total bimbodom, I get showered with genius level IQ as soon as I win the last hand.  I'd like to see a version where the size of the IQ pot is limited, or perhaps instead of a mere cap, more IQ points could disappear forever based on how large the IQ pot gets.  That would also help solve another problem the game often suffers from where the possession of the most IQ points shifts from one character to another constantly, only for that character to get dogpiled with fondles until the IQ pot refills with the same points again.

If I had one wish, it would be for a way to import more characters.  The image generator is available to anyone, so the community could potentially step up and add to this as long as there was a way to get the new characters into the game.

Many kudos for the amount of TLC that went into this.

Review by Rhianna
Version reviewed: 1.0.3 on 2016-01-19 20:10:37

Great game!


Any reason why you haven't made a discussion thread?  It'd be nice to talk about it outside reviews!


I'm definitely looking forward to more characters, particularly a couple more guys.  It'd be nice to start with a table of all male players.


My biggest input right now would be for there to be a little more varriance in who gets fondled.  If you're ahead by more then a couple IQ everyone just gangbang fondles you without mercy.  You can't even fold to protect yourself, because then you're not even able to relax.


Definitely interested in "things to do "outside" the poker room" as you mentioned on your DA page.


Another fun thing might be some alternate endings.  Like perhaps each character has a unique epilogue text, or even ending texts for how transformed they are.  Maybe some rounds can 'burn' the IQ pot leading to an overall decrease in available IQ so you could win the game in various stages of IQ.  Salvatore, for example, might have an ending for winning as Don Salvatore (crime boss), one for the middle male forms (gangster), one for the 'cute' female forms (gangster moll?), and one for being in the final low stages of IQ (streetwalker/stripper).

Great game though, really enjoyed the concept and variety of the artwork!

Review by nonanon87
Version reviewed: 1.0.1 on 2016-01-18 14:01:53

It is a fun game and with a bit of balancing and maybe a few more characters it could be great.

Some things that might deserve some explanation are how the intelligence pot is calculated and when it pays out. It seems like what is meant to happen is that as a player hits 100% lust and loses int the loss is added to the pot and when a player buys back with int that is meant to be put in the pot. However, I have notice that over time the total pool of int is diminishing (if you add up the int of all players after 20 or so hand it would be lower than at the start) This seems to imply that somewhere along the way int is being destroyed. The other thing I'd like explained are the exact conditions underwhich you can win the int pot. The x/10 display seems to indicate that once the int pot is over 10 whoever wins the hand wins the int pot, but in my experience that isn't always the case. An example being that I drew out the betting in the final round to get the int pot to 15 but when I called I won the cash but not the int.

Great game overall, though. Nice to see that it is a complete game from launch.

Review by RedGhost
Version reviewed: 1.0.1 on 2016-01-18 08:26:52

Knowing how to play Texas Hold'Em, I found every single opponent to be insane aggressive with junk cards that they'd almost never win with unless it was a lucky shot on the river for a two-pair, three-of-a-kind or fluke flush.

The raising duels for penny amounts of $50~ got a bit tiresome, but when I went aggressive myself with good hands that had 66% odds or better of winning I started to find myself obliterating my opponents until I hit a showdown and then it all dragged out again.

The call-raise wars before the flop even happened though really ticked me off, because when they'd happen you'd have everyone calling and then some jerk opponent AI would raise $30-200 just to get it all going again and the lust penalities would snowball. In the end I found that I'd have to stop it by throwing an insane amount as a raise to make them all go all-in, then destroy them with a massive all-in myself later (even though there was little point because my opponents were broke).

I didn't mind the comic graphics or how the opponents changed during the game, which was alright for a Flash game. And overall I did enjoy playing it, but the AI decision making was a bit haphazard.

I think I ended up making the AI have a fit... raising $20,000+ with a 3 of Spades and 8 of Hearts just to stop the call-raise war will do that I suppose.

Please continue with this game.

Review by advert
Version reviewed: 1.0.1 on 2016-01-18 04:02:48

Yeah, seconding the eternally raising issue as being a big issue for me. I noticed it always seemed to happen whenever there was a big IQ pot, whether they had good cards or not they would just constantly raise and never fold.

Even if they had terrible cards they would just keep on raising each other forever by about 30-40 bucks each time until they all ran out of money.



Review by elizaclaire
Version reviewed: 1.0.1 on 2016-01-18 02:06:00

Wow!  How much work went into this.  Impressive.

This game is brilliant.  and it works straight out of the box.  Not waiting for further updates to be able to complete the game.

I'd love to see some more development to provide a wider choice of characters, and some refinement to some of the bimbofication algorithms to accellerate play, and maybe a few sound effects.  Not many poker games go 80+ rounds to be completed.

But as I say Wow.

Review by UnitO
Version reviewed: 1.0.1 on 2016-01-17 18:50:25

If you like the themes of this sort of game and are okay with the graphical style of Kisekae 2, visually/TF-wise the game is pretty solid. I'd be interested in seeing more characters, and maybe a little bit of expansion of some of the end stuff I've seen.

On the other hand, core gameplay is a bit tedious; RNG feels like it favors the AI, and the AI has a very strong case of brinksmanship which drags out the hands from the start but at the same time, the player can easily save scum around all that if they don't mind taking the time. 

Right now, it's a solid little flash to play a couple of times to see the graphics and maybe more if you enjoyed poker, but probably not worth a lot of repeat play unless more characters are added or core mechanics get a little tighter to make the game flow a little quicker. 

Review by Arcatwelve
Version reviewed: 1.0.1 on 2016-01-17 16:42:20

Had to learn how to play texas holdem heh.


Honestly though the fondle and striptease options are irrelevant if you just focus on winning the hands.


Still really fun, good art, would love to see more.

Review by Centchu
Version reviewed: 1.0.1 on 2016-01-17 07:10:15

I actually enjoyed this game, though it did drag on in the end and I finally won after a long period of trying.... 

To be honest I loved the cowgirl transformation, I wish there was more cowgirl content on this site and others, but it's oddly not that popular.... and I'm always a fan of TG.

Keep it up though, I think you could have omething interesting, akin to the tribe game put out a while ago... The one where you turn men into women, I forget it's name.

But do try to add in something to simplify, or add variation to the game... Texas hold em is fun, but maybe not /enough/ to satisify the playing time!

Review by Sairus323
Version reviewed: 1.0.1 on 2016-01-17 06:07:31

I think the game is good. But there's not many characters and throphy room is not working for me... but keep working!

Review by qwertop12345
Version reviewed: 1.0.1 on 2016-01-17 05:36:49

The poker drags out too sluggishly to really enjoy anything.  The gameplay was so boring I had to take advantage of the fact you get dealt a new hand every time you go back to the main menu and resume the game just so I can get good hands ands abuse the very easy AI to win each turn.

The "strip" "fondle" and "relax" options do not really speed things up in any fashion, like at all.

If this were more fast paced then it might have something going for it, but as of 1.0.1 it's simply just a piss easy poker game with bimboification as like some side dish.

Review by renonymous
Version reviewed: 1.0.1 on 2016-01-17 01:50:44

I'm not a fan of poker/holdem in the first place, so my review may be a bit biased, but this game fell short for me. A few reasons why:

The fondle/striptease/relax mechanic, while it seemed promising, got annoying so fast. There's no animation that accompanies any of the acts, very limited variation to the flavour text, and the resulting cartoons are too ridiculous to be erotic. Add to this the fact that your opponents will often raise in the smallest increments possible and you run into rounds that take 10 minutes for no pay-off, and I mean that in every sense of the word.

The IQ mechanics feel like more of a hinderance than anything. Lower IQ affects neither your opponents nor your own play; it simply makes the men into women and changes how fucking stupidly enormous someone's tits are. Higher IQ does nothing except ensure you'll be the target of EVERY fondle, and increase the potency every time you're fondled.

The holdem mechanics themselves in this game are pretty legit except that it doesn't recognize straights, or at least it didn't recognize mine before I closed and deleted it.