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HTML
Rating
XXX
Language
English, more or less
Release Date
11/13/2018
Last Update
11/13/2018
Version
1.0
Development
Alpha
Likes
39
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Male
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Version: 1.0

Victim Of Changes

This is a game about the last year in school, right after everyone is an adult and the boy-school of the hero has been closed by evil co-educationalists. 
This is a game for adult, mind: if there are problems to decide which prejudice is the author's own or the character's option to grow, ask in the thread svp. 

http://www.mediafire.com/file/abd3aa259n3t4nb/Victim_of_Changes.html/file

They closed my school! Where will I learn to be a good man now?!

Me: A good, upstanding young man in a fine town fallen to the Reds in the last election.

My schoolmates: All good young men and members of the citizens' long rifle fraternity (Bürgerschützenverein). 

The Red: A political menance. 

Our new teachers: cf. "Reds".

The Fugitives: Men from Africa and other places where people flee from. Manly men. Manly as in: Long dongs. 

The first post has a direct storyline. 


Latest Reviews - View All Reviews

Review by Shrekt

Version reviewed: 1.0 on 11/18/2018


As far as MM content goes, the MC presents as a woman and is refered to as a woman, until they are gelded. All images that come up in that context are no different than what would be used if the MC was straight up a woman. If you are more into gay content being men having sex with men, look elsewhere.


Review by Blauz.

Version reviewed: 1.0 on 11/15/2018


Answered in the game thread: https://tfgames.site/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=11844.

There is a new poll, too! 

I have deep respect for people who are willing to correct themselves. Thank you for changing the review. 


Review by socksmonsters

Version reviewed: 1.0 on 11/13/2018


@DanielleDennet

I wish I could give your review a like


Review by DanielleDennett

Version reviewed: 1.0 on 11/13/2018


I frequently see the "if you like Blauz's style, then..." caveat being tossed around here, and I'm not sure Blauz even understands the critique, so maybe I can clarify with what I think others are saying (and generally what I feel as well).  It's something that is very much present in this game as well.  In a nutshell, it's partly that a lot of things are lost in what seems like 100%-machine translation, as well as the kind of bizarrely Donald-Trumpian elision between non-sequitor to non-sequitor.  It's like you're going along with a storyline that doesn't totally make sense, but you think you're loosely following it.  Then, all of a sudden, you're being fucked by someone who hasn't been introduced in the storyline in a location that hasn't been mentioned.  I was hoping that this sort of ambiguous story would be less-so in this game, but unfortunately not. 

 

An example:  "Wind from the open window lifts my uniform skirt. Now I am wearing an all too short skirt myself, I dislike the idea of someone taking liberties with hemlines all the more. There will be no winter child, of course, but who wants to shake his manly parts in the open? 

In applied social studies we learn how to use make up and ecoogically neutral hairspray: until the revolution does away with those burgois nonsense, I guess. Still not much different from playing theatre."

 

1.  You're not really *wearing* a too short skirt now, it just seems that way because of the wind.

2.  "taking liberties with hemlines" is just really bizarre phrasing.

3.  "no winter child"... what?  I've never heard this phrase.  It also doesn't really make any sense with the preceding sentence... or the following sentence.  To me, in more simplistic English, it reads like this:  I dislike the idea of someone taking liberties with my clothes.  There will be no pregnancy, of course, but who wants to expose himself in the open?"  What ON EARTH does that mean?

4.  "... we learn how to use make up and ecologically neutral hairspray: until the revolution does away with those bourgeois nonsense."  What?  A revolution?  Where ON EARTH did *that* come from?

 

An example that take's Chekov's Gun and flips it on its head:

"I spend a relaxing, healthy weekend -my parents are boycotting the new preacher (a woman!!) so I do not have to go to church, either. Food could be better, but my granny cooks for us since my mother works. Now that mom and dad are having a little crisis, granny is cooking worse than usual and puts the blame on her daughter in law."

 

In two sentences, granny, a crisis between your parents for which your granny blames your mother, your mother's job, and a preacher for whom your parents are apparently boycotting because she's a woman.  NONE of this matters in any previous or following segments.  There are so many details in your stories that are difficult to follow or to know whether to care about or not.  It really hurts the flow of your writing to have these tangential bits that don't relate to anything.

 

A final example:

"That evening I go with Mark and Jonas, my best friends, to the training of our carnival dance group: these girls are fabulous! Mark's sister is their leader, and after training we are left alone with three of the last year girls from the girls' school. 
Some of the girls on that school are very, very chaste and a little shy. Most are like any good girl should be: nice and open but not spread open, if you understand my meaning. Others are a little more daring. And while they have lesser bastards than girls from other schools, one can if lucky- get a kiss from those daring ones. 

We are lucky tonight, and it is great!
Only I cannot get my little man to rise to the occasion. The shame! The humiliation! The giggling"

 

This is so confusing.  This is the first time you've mentioned that the player is in a dance group.  It's also the first time you've mentioned Mark... and his sister too!  And there's a girls' school as well?  The concept of other schools hasn't really been explained.  And after describing the girls as being chaste and shy or nice and open (this is fine, by the way), then all of a sudden, without any set up for what is happening, it's just written that "we are lucky tonight!".  Ok, so you had sex... great, but totally meaningless.

 

My advice for this game (and to clarify others' reviews of your style) is to elaborate on things that matter, and get rid of things that don't.  So many things happen in your games, but characters and storylines are so lacking in details that it's difficult to care about any of it.  Why should I care about Mark (whom I've never met before) or what the people from other schools think of me (I've never met them either).  Why should I care about my character's sister when she just kind of appears, says something bizarrely unprompted or related to the story, shows her boobs, then is gone, all without having an effect whatsoever on my character.

I'm not necessarily hoping for Orson Welles and Citizen Kane levels of dialogue/plotting, but this game is kind of rough and could use some editing/revising.  Yes, some of this is probably lost in translation, but your games (and this one) would benefit greatly from tightening up the stories a bit, removing unnecessary passages and characters, and focusing more on things closely related to the plot.


Review by Isel

Version reviewed: 1.0 on 11/13/2018


This is another BLAUZ game. If you like blauz, you'll probably enjoy this. Otherwise, it's not so much a game as is another choiceless foray into emasculation, this time with literal GELDING (I feel that requires a tag). It's got your standard blauz timejumps and rapid flow and getting impregnated. Not much to say, really, except that it took all of 5 minutes to get through and I am bored.


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