Mommy's Princess is an erotic story of just your everyday kid facing your everyday teenage problems like school,girls, slutty stepmom. But one day his life changes as his body starts changing.
Hi everybody i just started started developing a game about forced feminization. It has been less than a week since i started learning twine and this is my first time writing IF. I am not a writer nor do i fancy my self as such so if you wish you can look at it like porn rather than a story. I am a huge fan of games like perverted education, trap quest, Mr.brown, stranded and as such the game will be HEAVILY INFLUENCED by these games, consider it a parody of these games if it helps you sleep better at night. English is not my first language so do expect mistakes of all kind.
That being said now lets move on to the good part the features. This game includes lots of pictures and gif, it has hypno with a surprise, also one of my favorite things from Trap Quest a clothing system where you can select together individual items and throw together an outfit and the sluttier you are the more likely you are to cause events to occur (please note the events based on clothes have not been implemented as of version 1.0)
As of version 1.0 there are only two main character and this version is just meant to show of the basic concept rather than the entire game.
I have made little notes where there is no content or at point where content ends
Currently content ends when you confront Kagney
Consept is Solid but the game play is not. Keep up the good work.
Nothing works, yet, except one scene. I guess this one should be version 0.01 instead of 1.0.
That said the concept is nice and the theme is popular, so I am having my finger cross.
Awesome game ! Love it !!! Looking forward to seeing where it goes :)
It's good form to include a link with the character's description to take the player back a page, rather than having to use Twine's back button. Other problems exist, but they've been addressed by other reviewers.
I love this theme in stories/interactive stories/games, so I'm inclined to give this game the benefit of the doubt (even though it's so incomplete that I can't tell if it's going to be a game or a story yet). However, your grammar and punctuation were really bad -- I'd score your writing somewhere between "awful" and "atrocious" -- which made the story hard to read. Run-on sentences were especially common, along with capitalization and punctuation errors galore.
In short, it's a good concept, but it needs lots of polish before it could be considered a good game.
Once I cut through the code, I actually enjoyed your work.
First off, file names and directory names should be lower case in the files and code. School gym and principal (not principle) use a mix of cases. So when I fixed the directory with one the other blew up. I was ready to quit after the gym and principal visits thinking that's all there was. When I looked at the files, I said, OMG.
The code is easier to read if you start a new line for the start and end tag of each tw-passagedata. Notepad++ is a free code editor that can do the replace (\n is newline) and then you can hide blocks of code. I use QuickEdit Pro for Android and it's not as nice. Both use color to make the tag name stand out amongst others.
You did a slick job of using an array to handle random hypno gifs. I might have named the files hypno_01.gif ... and then concatenated the file name with a random number followed by the file type. That would eliminate the init code, but wouldn't make much difference otherwise.
As for typos, Notepad++ will also do spellchecking for you. Or you can run the game and for each page, grab all the text; drop it in a word processor like Google Docs, openoffice.org Write, or MS Word; identitify the errors; fix them in the code. That's what I did for Ol' School Blazin'.
