Good plot but not much in the way of content or actual choices that effect game play

Stopped halfway through when it became clear that the choices were utterly irrelvant. As far as I can see it isn't really a game, or even a COYA, since it just railroads you straight down one path.

It's true the game does not offer much in the way of decisions that lead to alternate consequences, however I like the story very much. It was simple but I found it very enjoyable. I am looking forward to when it expands!

More like a prologue than a full story. While the English sounds strange at certain point, it did not take away much from the scene. I guess this is something fun to go through. It is taking less than 5 minutes anyway.

Well, thanks for the game, but as it stands, it's really just a story you click through. There's literally no option that changes anything.

The avatar on the side was cool, and the look was evidently inspired by Dinaranger (going by your username as well).

If that was your art, or the art of one of your friends then that's really impressive and you should really consider taking a look at what other people did in their games to get some more ideas. Branch the story out more. It's difficult, but it's almost everything that Twine has going for it (or at least Twine-like engines). You don't have to be enormously ambitious for your first games, but at least 3 choices or so would've been nice :)

Also, get some help with spelling/grammar. Especially the spelling part can be easily fixed with a spellchecker routine. Things like "definately" really get on my nerves lol.