this is my first game and there is a lot I want to add to it. Right now only one short path is done.
please note that some links are placeholders and do nothing let there have nothing connected to them so there do nothing and yes it short right now that why there only 3 pages because I just start in it work in progress since some of you can´t read the first page and yes I know I am not good at naming
and tags not all of them are in let but going to be
you play as Nicholes who just turn 18 wait awaits her in life
your friend John
your younger sister Lilly
others coming soon
you can now go home and see another ending
Its still unfinished I am not sure do you need help maybe you need another writer helping you out explain your issue...collab with another writer I am not offering because I have my own crazy writing of one which I have omitt all everything myself and still fickle what to do about characters?
You forget to describe nicole and John you describe John as character who weak and wants fuck is all I get when he goes ahead of her
Other factor many other options aren't filled out makes person feel what the heck...
Why is there ogre in this why not have different monster you know if your having ogre just put minotaur in there....ogres come in bigger groups and they raid places...
that place just told me it was RPG where somehow she doesn't have email...where heck does ogre appear in RPG.
You didn't describe the ogre, was he hairy...was sweating was he slimy there some things you forget to mention...
Again character was never mention in this.. feels like cut dry thing it was bit what hey...
Might want to add town map so easier navigate...and creepy ogre alert...I am not sure if that possible...
Something look forward to. If your building a game have tv click on ogres are seen clubbing people dead in town center...military was called in put them down...tanks were called. come on now get animated its your story..
Nicole suppose to be out celebrating her what?? you got brainstorm something out this I feel like lot blanks in your story you got fill in what sort person is nicole is she slut or she purity girl there not much said on storyline you got work at it.
The choice of colors makes the game nearly unplayable. Another reveiw mentions red and blue, and thankfully the current colors are not this, but the background is black with white text, and clickable links are dark purple. There's no reason they should be this color. I can't read the choices without either straining my vision or highlighting the entire page, and that only makes it slightly easier to read.
The choice of colors is a huge problem, please change them to something readable.
Phew... I know some people are apparently immune to complementary colors, but please take some other colors. Complementary colors are hurting in the eyes of the most people and blue and red are complementary colors. Because of this reason i can't play the game. Sorry. I will try it, if you fix the colors.
Extremely basic as of now, with (as mentioned) 3 pages s far and one ending + a bunch of looping links that seems to not work until you realize they link to the page you're currently on. It's also in need of a LOT of work to stand out as an interesting game-to-be.
Writing stucture needs a lot of formatting like grammar work, separating sentences and links, and the like. As it is, reading compressed blocks of text is the worst thing one could do.
Also, theme tags should NOT contain what you plan there to be, but tell potential testers about what there is already in the game. Plns can be mentioned in the description/synopsis.
Will it be interesting in the future? That all depends on the dev's interest in working on polishing flaws and adding content. As of now there's not really much at all.