OPENING PROGRAM G3
WARNING. PROGRAM CONTAINS UNSTABLE CONTENT. LOAD ANYWAY?
Welcome to the virtual enviorment of The Failed Program. This game has no one setting or theme, but instead will give a choice of three possible areas and six possible characters (Currently only one area and two characters are developed, but more are coming soon!).
Also, this game has an underlying plot that will reveal itself over multiple endings. Currently that plot has no final ending, that will be added only when the rest of the game is fully finished and polished.
Based on the reviews, (which have been amazingly useful and constructive, thank you!) I am going to be giving the content that is here a big overhaul, making it more cohesive and taking more of a focus towards the plot-centric endings. Currently however, I'm taking a break from writing to recharge my creative batteries, as it were. I can't say when the next update will come out, but hopefully it will fix some of the issues people have with the game. I have also been considering putting some money into commisioned art for the game in the future, so look out for that!
Thanks for reading, and have fun playing!
Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy.
I tried this one out. My first impressions are that there is a decent premise here, but its somewhat lacking in plot development and, as others have said cohesiveness.
My recommendation would be to focus on one of the planned storylines (ignoring those who will inevitibly comment that its too linear) and build up the overarching plot. And worldbuild. From the many games on this site thar I have tried, the best ones focus on developing the world and environment as much, if not more than, any TF or sex.
It could also do with some additional formatting. The lines.being so close together make the little content that is there harder to follow and seem even less. If you haven't already (I haven-t taken the time to check the html) at least wrap the paragraphs in <p> tags. Most browsers will increase line height and padding in interpreting those, and space out the content without a lot of additional styling.
Qll in all it looks like a decent start. One I will keep an eye on to see how it progresses.
What this game lacks is cohesion!
Many lines of choice branch into more lines of choice with very little connection, reference, or nuance to previous or future choices. From a gameplay perspective, that reduces the choose your own adventure to a semi-guided short term clickfest from one implied transformation to another. Because the mind can't easily connect them together, it dismisses them as seperate. And, if considered seperate from one another, these short chapters become even shorter. Ultimately, even the payoffs are flimsy. This general lack of cohesion makes the bad or good endings come abrupt and read flimsy despite their content or writing due to just how unsupported they are narratively.
I don't know exactly what the author is going for, I don't know what the plot or character or world is here for, and I don't have enough agency to navigate through the maze and find the content I would typically sift through and enjoy from a CYOA. The Failed Project is still very early into its development, though, so, if I can, I have one suggestion: Focus and Refine.
Do more with less. This story is doing so much so quickly that it just can't sustain it. The writing, the structure, and the content are so disconnected from each other that when they all come together it all falls apart. A small idea fully realized is always better than a large one squandered.
I like the game. But it's really short.
The game is pure text. And some scenes feel a bit rushed. Also I am not a fan of some of the endings. I entered a toy store, picked up a robot, and now I'm a innanimate sex doll. But some people might like it.
Maybe adding some kind of reference for the player to know what has happened and where things are headed would be nice.
Also adding some images would be nice.
But don't quit Ashley Univer! If you like writing this could become a great game!
the flow on this feels jerky like the author tried writing all routes at once. The Font is Teeny tiny, and each page maybe 2 lines or 50 lines. All in all there is potential there, maybe add some pictures as it is currently all text and calling this a rough draft isn't fair to rough drafts. Clean it up, Make it easier to read, go through 1 route at a time and remember the basics of writing (what is a paragraph, run on sentences). There is also no Hook. No reason to care for the main character which is supposed to be first person but no world background.
Overall I will check out the next version but this one I could only give 15 min of my time before I had to stop.
WARNING. PROGRAM CONTAINS BORING CONTENT. LOAD ANYWAY?