After being influenced by many other games on this site and since I always wanted to pick up HTML i decided to create this game.
Unforeseen Consequences is my first ever project in this field, so please be gentle to a noob like me.
Detailed insight on https://www.patreon.com/Brutecatus. No subscription necessary for all the information.
Short outline for the project:
The game will start off quite linear, but hopefully will become branch heavy like Transfigure.
It is going to be an adventure with story progression.
New to HTML/Twine -> roast me if you see anything.
First language is not english -> again roast me, criticism can only help.
Shrine of the Goddess
The House (Shame this was discontinued).
The manly contest
Mutagen26 (Shame again that this never made it).
You and your flatmates are going to a halloween adventure game at an old mansion.
Winners get to choose to leave the way they came and are allowed to take whatever they earn in the game.
But what does that mean?
Find out in this (hopefully) soon to be interactive story.
You -> A mechanical engineering student.
Samantha -> Your cute flatmate.
Josh -> Your best friend and also a flatmate.
Your rival team:
Andre -> A good looking black guy who seems like a player.
Katie -> A blonde bitch who knows no respect.
Amy -> A gorgeous brunette.
v 0.16 Some new scenes in the extreme path, included some tech for rng (which is not used atm), this tech might end up in another game however.
v 0.15 Decided to test a point system for your mental state, also added some text coloring so people can better follow the conversations.
v.0.10 Lots more pages, lots more sex scenes.
v.0.02 Added a couple more pages and the first sex scene.
v.0.01 Just a concept for now to test if everything works for other people after i uploaded and they downloaded it (links, images, etc).
I approve of the inspiration list, mutagen 26 is a good one, and so far it's looking a bit more like Goo-manji. Not much more than one sequence and no alternative paths yet, but I like the premise. As someone else said, stitch some related paragraphs closer together and it should be easier to read. Looking forward for more!
The inspiration is quite impressive, but including The Company there is rather misleading. Although one could admire your ambitions ;-) your game is a different genre. CYOA instead of a more open world of The Company. But I'm just nitpicking. :-)
There isn't much content so far and it's hard to jugde anything from the little that's available. The writing is decent, descriptive enough so far. The ratio of graphic to text is also good in my opinion, I don't like games overloaded with graphics and videos, these tend to distract from the text too much.
If there's something to improve about the writing, I'd say that you don't put each new sentence in a separate line. Gather them in short paragraphs instead, so that an intermission means there's a slight change in the content.
Colours are basic which makes the screen clear and easy to look at. No weird experiments with fonts or colours.
I wish the author good luck and hope that he'll actually work on this game, unlike many of his predecessors.