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Version: 0.16

Unexpected Adventure
by kaira

Well i'm tired of playing games, so i decided to make my own game.
This is in alpha release, it doesn't have much content but i will try to update.
The english is not my first language, it make the production of the game slower and reduce the quality, but since i have played english games i don't want to make it in another language.
The first quest for the principal path is almost done, need to finish the other two paths.

0.16 introduced some variables, a few choices change the story a bit. Now you have the option to see a few status.

What i plan to make this game?

Well, my mind has lots of ideas but the principal path is about a romance/adventure.

One last thing. Thanks for the game makers of this site, all of you are amazing.

Kai a normal boy who finds a strange game device.

Kai a normal guy.

Female Voice: She seems to suspicious.

Male Voice: A narrator/storyteller?

Roger: A ugly man.

Silver: A old man.

Olga: Wife of Silver

Woman/elf: you don't know her at this moment

Don't need one for now.

Latest Reviews - View All Reviews

Review by hernan8

Version reviewed: 0.12 on 02/15/2015

Looks good so far. About the grammar, you coul use this website it really helps: http://www.reverso.net/spell_checker/english-spelling-grammar/ 

Not only it helps with the grammar but also the definition of the words.

Review by Donovan0

Version reviewed: 0.12 on 02/14/2015

Review of version 0.12:

Really short for now, then again, it's an alpha so it's to be expected.

The story is set in a fantasy world, with a protagonist from our modern world.
There are typo's, words missing and mixed up verb tense still, as the creator
isn't a native English speaker, it's not that surprising. (I'm in the same situation...)

Will wait to see how the story progress to do a more complete review.
Keep up the good work Kaira!

Review by bamboozlr

Version reviewed: 0.08 on 02/14/2015


So I'm only allowed to complain about the food in a restaurant if I'm a chef?

Review by pingguo

Version reviewed: 0.08 on 02/14/2015

Well, English is certainly not the author's mother tongue. The language is what you see at the introduction in this page, long sentences with a dozen of "," in between and mixing the past and present tenses. That being said, the text is a lot better than many other games. It is comprehensible once you ignore the two problems above. Formating is lacking in the first few pages and I have seen a bit too many "()" around but I see improvement thereafter. The aim of the game is quite confusing unless you already know about the background of the game, a general problem to those who think faster than they write.

All in all, while this game has a lot to improve, say, grammar, writing style, use of punctuation, etc., I'm certainly seeing good in it. Dancing with wild ideas on matters that most common boys would have experienced. Given time and practice, the author could be a good writter.

To fix the current game, the author may want to call for the help of native speakers in the forum and asks them for help in the grammar.


To sathirran: I am trying to make the review seems recommendable. BTW, thanks for fixing the typo for me.

Review by sathirran

Version reviewed: 0.08 on 02/13/2015

In response to pingguo's complaints about the author's English:

Long *sentences, since I assume there's more than one.

Those little ",s" you see are known as "commas"

*much, not "many" English

Quotation marks are for quotes, not emphasis, so unless the English is sarcastically "bad," just don't.

And these "()s" are known as "parentheses."

*writing, not "writting"

"I *am certainly seeing"

The author *could be a good *writer

Hope this helps.

And if those are the only complaints you have about their English, I'd say that's commendable. Let's see how you do writing an entire text-based game in a foreign language. Your English makes me [sic]

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