Setting aside the "memish requirment satisfaction" you threw on the front page of your story, I had to play through twice to figure out what exactly was bothering me about your story and I realized what it was. You have WAY to much flowery prose which actually distracts from your writing after a while. While some of the prose can be attributed to the obvious attempt to set a mood that the world isn't quite right; you actually distract from the writing and the scenes from over use. I would suggest toning it back to use as a tool to call subtle attention to elements that you want to point out as important or when the world is begining to deviate fromt he norm.

As it stands though you can't get mad at people missing the 'subtle elements' of TF you have put in the game as your prose is doing more to hide and obsuficate your writing then enhance it. I'm curious to see where you go with the story, but the story itself is hard to follow as it stands.

Huge fan of your previous work with Sunlight Empire. Excited to see how this evolves and how that continues. Though I personally would have waited until more was ready before releasing the first build of this.

theres nothing here just the intro

Very short, and so far there's no actual TF or adult content in the game.  In fact, there's only a grand total of one choice, which doesn't even affect anything.

*looks at the tags*

Oh wow, all that stuff is already in the game even at this Alpha stage?